What to Do When a Co-workers in a Bad Mood - The Muse

What to Do When a Co-workers in a Bad Mood - The MuseWhat to Do When a Co-workers in a Bad Mood A few years ago, I had a manager who could be just a tad formidable when she was in a bad mood. Id spend the entire day walking on eggshells, abruptly turning the otherbei way if I heard her voice, and checking her calendar to see what conference rooms I should avoid. This probably wasnt the best way to handle her unpleasant days, though. Not only did it leid magically bless her with a sunny disposition, but it also hindered my productivity and made me feel jumpy the entire day. I was letting her mood govern my emotions and actions, and thats just not fair or effective. Luckily, in the three years since then, Ive starting figuring out just what you should (and shouldnt) do when a co-worker shows up a little- or very- grumpy. 1. Dont Ask if Hes OKIm not heartless, I promise. I tear up at most commercials and my partner has banned me from watching This Is Us because I turn into a human water fountain every episode. When someone shows up acting mora sullen or irritable than usual, I think its instinct for most of us to immediately ask, Whats wrong with you? or Are you OK? Youve noticed somethings off, and as a caring human being and problem-solver, you want to fix it. But think about when youre in a crappy mood. Youre so caught up in your head, listing off the number of ways you hate the world, and having someone call that out (especially in front of others) doesnt really make everything sunshine and roses, does it? Nope, I bet it just adds one more bolt of lightning to your already stormy day. So, I recommend that you resist that urge. Because if you dont, you could make him feel singled out and even more testy. If he wants to talk about whatevers going on, he will. 2. Dont Take it PersonallyOne of the best pieces of advice Ive ever received is that when an individual is treating you badlywhether shes yelling at you, insulting you, excluding you, or so forth- its rarel y because something is actually wrong with you. Rather, theres something going on inside of that individual that has nothing to do with you. Sure, it sucks when Tracy bites your head off when all you did is ask where the stapler is. But if you spend the rest of the day letting those few moments eat at you, youre wasting your time. You did nothing wrong. And, hey, even if you did, it doesnt warrant her snapping at you. Furthermore, dont engage. Again, the reason for her lashing out at you has to do with her, not you, so you dont need to get defensive about it. Take a deep breath, let her words and sharp tone roll off of you, and go search for the stapler on your own. 3. Back OffLets face it- when someones in a bad mood, he isnt all that fun to work with. Or be around at all. And when youre in that type of negative headspace, what you really need is the time and space to work through it on your own or just let it take its course. So, dont try to force him into conversation. Dont try t o cheer him up. Save any questions and updates you can for the next day. If theres something pressing, keep it brief and to the point. And if possible, send an email about it instead. It may be easier for him (and less painful for you) to let him process it on his own rather than having to interact with anyone.Remember Theres already a thunderstorm happening in his head. Try not to add more noise. Bad moods happen. And theyre not enjoyable for the person whos in one, nor for the people around her. If this downer behavior is out of character for her, then just let it ride. Dont ask if shes OK. Dont take her behavior personally. And back off for now. If its a consistent thing, though, there may need to be a conversation with the person, whether it comes from you or her manager. Because having a dark cloud consistently hovering in the corner of the office isnt good for anybody.